tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88019790907590011922024-03-13T19:02:09.294-04:00Getting back to LifeThe reason for this blog is mainly for myself. I want to be as honest and open about my life and the things I am experiencing as possible. I feel that now more than ever I realize that life doesn't turn out the way you planned and I always thought my life would be in a different place right now. The unexpected turns have taught me lessons. At the age of 29, one of the best feelings I have is that I feel as though I can be completely open about my life with nothing to hide!Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.comBlogger132125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-90847812178119349232013-02-18T00:19:00.001-05:002013-02-18T00:19:15.770-05:00My Sweet AmooMy sweet uncle passed away today, truly one of the most amazing and kind people I have had the pleasure of knowing. <br />
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Although he wasn't my my blood uncle, he was my aunt's husband, he was more an uncle to me than my real ones. He has been in my life consistently and been in my mother's life since she was only 14. He was a role model for all, a scholar, a scientist, a professor, a doctor, a historian and one of a kind. He leaves behind a legacy that will last forever and his work will be remember. <br />
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We always joked that my amoo (uncle in Farsi) lived to work. He was in love with is his job, he admired it and enjoyed it. Last time I was in Iran, 2 years ago, I went to work with him one day as he owns a museum in Isfahan. We walked through the museum and I reminisced about the days when my brother and I were kids and spent hours running around finding new rooms with different animals in them. My brother and I loved it there, every time we went, he had new pet or insect he was dissecting. <br />
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I remember one summer he had a pet eagle, another time we went and caught snakes with him. He used to stick his hand in a hole and pull out a hand full of snakes! I was always screaming but loving him and what he did. We have pictures with alligators and owls...pretty cool when you are 7 years old!<br />
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I just never realized until this last time as I was walking through each room, that my uncle's heart and sole are in every part of that museum. He caught every animal, gutted them, learned about them and preserved them himself. Then he would display them and write every description next to each display. You have to see this place to realize how much work he put into it. Every room is packed full and every word is written in his writing. Pretty amazing for one guy. <br />
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And as we walked I asked him which room is his favorite and we went in one of the smaller ones and it was all maps and geography and he told me that this was his favorite. This was his real passion. I asked him if he ever thinks about what he will do with the museum when he is gone, does he wish one of his kids could have taken over....I don't remember what he said. <br />
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I am so glad I went that day and I had the privilege to walk through his passion and life, just me and him, room by room, looking at everything and listening to him explain it. What a treat and a memory that I will never forget. <br />
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My heart is broken that he is no longer here. I am so sad for my aunt that her sisters are across the world and can't be there for her. I wish we could all be together. However, I have peace that he died doing what he loved, he died shortly after giving a lecture and sharing his knowledge. He died after living 78 wonderful years, after traveling the world, seeing and doing things most dream of, he got to see all his grand kids and he got to see his own kids in their lives healthy and happy. He died after 53 years of marriage to my aunt. This is something to be happy about. <br />
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I love you amoo and will miss you dearly.<br />
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<br />Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-61333672894033614742013-01-04T00:34:00.001-05:002013-01-04T00:34:14.770-05:00Goodbye 2012...Hello 2013!Can't believe its been one year. One year ago today my mother and I received one of the worst phone calls that forever changed our lives. Time truly goes by so quickly. Its crazy that last year all we kept thinking is "how are we going to get through this and how will Hamid's family go on without him". At the time you think, it will never end, but gradually life goes by. <br />
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It's been a tough year, probably one of the toughest of my life. It started with a loss and it seems that things just didn't get any easier. 2012 was a test for me, it was test to see how dedicated I am to what I am doing and how much I am willing to try. Last year today, I thought to myself that this was the time to walk away and give up. It took it as a sign that things are not meant to be. But in the pit of my heart there was still this want and this knowledge that I am suppose to continue...so I did. <br />
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I have learn one of the greatest lessons of my life this past year, I learned that if you truly believe and love what you do, that nothing can stop you. I know I am a fighter, but I just never realized how much I am willing to fight. Although 2012 had it's ups and downs and I am happy to say goodbye and welcome the new year, it is a year I will never forget. <br />
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Now 2013, I have high hopes for and I am so excited to welcome the new year. I feel like this is the year and I am ready for it! My resolutions for this year are to see my company begin to succeed and continue to grow. I am determined to see Born products selling in a store somewhere in the world. I promise to run my 2nd marathon, but only if I do it with Team in Training and sponsor a child with cancer. On a more personal level, I am going to try and get out and meet more people...especially males. I have been dedicated to my work, but now I feel like I can handle both. I want to cross another item off on my bucket list! And lastly, I would love to be able to do something special for my parents...not sure exactly what that is yet, but something big if I can. <br />
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Here's to a great 2013!!!<br />
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<br />Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-82259122102209486592012-11-27T00:37:00.001-05:002012-11-27T00:37:28.111-05:00Wait a sec...it's almost December!!!It's awful that I have written in over 2 months!!! What is even worse is that I haven't realized that 2 months has passed. I feel as though this year has gone by exceptionally quick, before I know it another week has passed. I didn't even realize the week of my birthday that it was my birthday until 3 days before it and even then I thought surely this can't be right!<br />
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To say we are busy is an understatement, being that my father and I are doing pretty much everything these days, we can't seem to catch up. Some days I start with updating our website and different accounts and I end it creating new blends of products in our lab. I can say that I have learned more the past few months than I ever imagined. I have been involved with the oil refining process and going to UGA to work with the professors. I have learned all the accounting and filing of sales tax, etc. I worked side by side with my father when the grapes come in and we have to process everything...yes it has been quite a journey. <br />
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It's crazy to experience all this, especially in a time that the economy is in such turmoil that no one knows what is next. People ask me all the time, how I can do this and keep going. They ask what keeps me motivated to go on. To be honest there are days that I want to throw in the towel and I question whether it will all work. But the minute I think about quiting I just know that it's not my time to quit. I know that everything will work out and I am determined to see this company take off. 2 years ago I woke up knowing that this is what I am purpose to be doing and I feel it more now than ever. Yes I have days that I am in tears because I wonder when we are going to catch a break, but at the end of the day those tears make me want it more. I hope one day I can look back and know that all this hard work paid off. Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-78148437030356947412012-09-21T22:49:00.000-04:002012-09-21T22:49:00.403-04:00The days I will never forget. These are the days I will never forget. September 21, 2012, working with my dad for 8 hours outside. Cleaning, seeving and separating grape seeds from the skins. For the first time in my life I am beyond dedicated to this. I am willing to work like a dog, to put in my hard work, to blister from cleaning, to be in pain from lifting and to really be tiered from all the hard work. <br />
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Even a few months ago I was working hard, but I was balancing my life, I was working but when it was time to quit I was ready to relax. Now it's as though a light has been turned on, I want it and I want it so bad that I am wanting to feel the pain, feel the heat and really dedicate myself to this. The past 6 weeks have been crazy, we have been everywhere from North Carolina to Alabama. We have driven to different wineries in the same day and come home at the end of the night ready to pass out. We have gone to north Georgie in an hours notice to pick up tons of pomace and have come home and unload it...just the two of us, me and my father.<br />
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My father has always worked hard and never asked me to get my hands dirty. However, now I am ready to roll up my sleeves and work along side him. I want to feel it so when the time comes and this takes off I know what it took. I want to always remember these days of hard work and if ever my business is successful I want to know what it takes to get it there. I hope I am always willing to put on my boots and dirty clothes and get my hands dirty no matter how successful I am, because only then will I appreciate where I have come from and how hard people really do work. <br />
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More than anything I hope and strive to one day be as good of parents as my mother and father. One of my greatest fears is that I will not live up to to the people and parents they are. My mom and dad are beyond amazing and every time I think I realize it, they do more and show me what it means to love and to care. <br />
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My father has always told me "I don't love my children, I am in love with my children". As we worked together tonight and talked, he mentioned that all he has and wants is that one day when I am 45 years old to look back and be able to say that I am who I am and I am where I am because of what you taught me and because of the love you showed me. They say parents play a small role in children's lives because it comes down to your genes and who you are, but I beg to differ. I think my parents are every reason that I am where I am and that I am who I am. <br />
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These are the days that I will NEVER forget. The days that I look into my father brown/green eyes and talk to the point of tears, talk about life, and who we are. We talk about the obstacles and what lies ahead. These are the days that I will always remember my father telling me "sweetheart wealth is not about money, but about family and love". I will always remember and cherish these days. Whether Array Organics becomes something or not I have already made. I have had the pleasure of working with my father and gaining his knowledge. These truly are the best days of my life!Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-20137937044019445252012-09-18T00:59:00.000-04:002012-09-18T00:59:48.018-04:00Busy or lazy?I don't know if I'm just too busy these days or plain old lazy...maybe a bit of both. Either way it has been far too long since I have sat down to write. As usual there is so much to say as I never have a dull moment in my life. <br />
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Things have been busy, hectic, draining, fun and exciting all in one. I have had good news and bad but all in all I know that if I just continue and work hard for the next few months things will turn around. I have been traveling a lot lately, some for work and some for pleasure. I went to Canada with my family and got to spend an amazing week with my cousins and my niece! It was such a joy to wake up to her everyday for one week! She is an absolute joy and growing so quickly. I can't believe her first birthday is next week! It feels like yesterday that I was speeding to the hospital to meet her. <br />
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After Canada I headed out to Chicago, it was my first time there. I have to say Chicago is a pretty cool city. I never imagined it to be such a fun city. I loved the feel of the city and that you get the city life (like NYC) but just more calm and relaxed. Some parts of my trip were great and others disappointing...some of you know why. However, I have learned to to stay strong and move on. At this point in my life I have come to far to let people hurt me or get me down. <br />
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Anyway, this past weekend I was at the beach with the girls for my Kery's bachelorette weekend. It was very nice and relaxing. I realized once I was there that I had not been to the beach in a year...which is a long time for me. We had a great weekend and more importantly Kery had fun. Her wedding will be here before we know it!<br />
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In between all these trips I have been making day trips with my dad to all the vineyards we are working with to collect pomice. We have been to Alabama a few times, North GA and this week we will be in NC! Lots of driving, PR and hard work loading the grapes. My poor father is really working is butt off once we get the pomice. He is drying and processing everything and man do I feel for him. At the end of everyday we remember our goal and keep working. <br />
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I am excited to see what the next few months hold for us and pray that all of our hard work pays off!Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-21037753713182620002012-08-03T23:22:00.002-04:002012-08-03T23:22:29.199-04:007 months today. Although time is passing so quickly there isn't a day that we don't remember and think of you. Always in our thoughts and missing you!Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-20103202334978846712012-07-24T16:49:00.001-04:002012-07-24T16:49:17.303-04:00I'm craving a fruity drink and the beach....oh how I wish it could come true!Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-35171831119904414212012-07-02T00:52:00.002-04:002012-07-02T00:52:24.314-04:00Busy But ThankfulWell...ok I know it's been a while AGAIN! I have to get back into my routine of writing, I miss it and as I always say, sometimes my best friend is a a piece of paper and a pen (in this case it is my mac book but you get the point). <div>
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Life has been busy, we are all work and just as focused as ever. Some things are a waiting game and I can't control the vendors or people we work with so things don't move as fast as I would like. However, if there is one thing that I have learn this past year it's to be patient. Other than work everything is good, my family is healthy and we are blessed so I can't complain. My niece is the greatest joy in my life, just when I thought I couldn't love her more I fall in love with her even more! She is absolutely precious and brings us all so much happiness. I am so thankful that we all live close together and are able to spend as much time as we want with one another. I know that was something that we never had growing up and I love the fact that as an aunt I am close by.</div>
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I find that I am moving on from all that has happened the past few months. I feel as though the cloud is lifting. As they say, time heals everything. I see my father doing better and he is absorbed in his work. I can see how badly he wants things to work and he is doing everything in his power to make sure it does. I know that Hamid is the source of his determination. </div>
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It's funny, when you are experiencing a dramatic event in your life, you think that it's the worst for you and no one understands what you are going through. And not that I didn't know this but it's becoming more evident the older I get, that everyone is going through something. Every person I talk to has a story, something tragic or difficult they are going through. I don't know if its the current times that things are bad for people, but everyone has a story and I don't feel so alone with all that I have been through. In fact, I feel thankful that I am still so lucky!</div>Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-61934480712788115432012-05-28T23:52:00.001-04:002012-05-28T23:52:30.516-04:00To Close to Give UpI haven't written in so long and to be honest I have no clue why. There were days when I sat down to write and I ended up staring at the computer screen. I guess sometimes there is so much to say that I don't say anything at all. <br />
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Life has been busy to say the least, but I feel good about all that is going on. I feel as though things will change soon and I can slowly see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have a quote that comes to mind every time I get down or discouraged because I see it to be true, basically it states that the greatest failure is the give up only to be so close. Every time I am close to throwing my hands up I remember that quote and I think...I have come to far and failure is not an option. Funny, Hamid used to tell my dad, "failure is not an option for us".<br />
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I just really need for something to happen. I need to be encouraged again. I need a spark.Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-13448658211872786822012-05-14T00:09:00.003-04:002012-05-14T00:09:23.469-04:00I'm tiered....Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-10819330324564759432012-05-03T23:55:00.001-04:002012-05-03T23:56:22.832-04:00When?Every so often everything catches up to me and I can't help but go into thought. I think constantly about my business, if it will ever become something more than an idea. I dream about all it can become and know that it has what it takes, but just needs the right push. I know that I have come such a long way and it's only been a year, but it is very difficult to stay motivated when all you do is work and see little in outcomes. <br />
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I think about love and why at the age of 30 I still haven't found the person I want to spend my life with. I wonder if I ever will. I look forward to the day that I find someone I can go for a run with and talk to about any and everything. For a long time, as much as I said I was ready, I am not quite sure I was. I have to admit, I have had a great time being single, doing what I like, traveling, working as much as I want and not having to worry about what I am doing. However, I am slowly beginning to want more. I see my niece and she makes me want more, she makes me want a family. I just can't help but wonder...will I ever find it?Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-30455925842676508242012-04-23T22:53:00.004-04:002012-04-23T22:53:52.236-04:00Fingers crossed....so far so good!Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-45154169147666771842012-04-15T20:38:00.003-04:002012-04-15T20:47:23.270-04:00What I need...ASAP!<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Ok</span>, living at home, honestly, hasn't been so bad. However, I think now is the time to MOVE OUT! It's hard being back home, especially since I moved out when I was 15. I like to think I have done really well and been very patient. I am just at the end of my patience and without getting <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">aggravated</span> I would like to be on my way, have my own space and do things the way I like. <div><br /></div><div>I don't even remember my things...I miss my stuff, my dishes and decorations. I packed my life in 1.5 weeks and threw things in boxes thinking I would get them out soon. Well that was before I traveled for 6 months and so not only did I travel, but I have been home for over a year! I wanna open my boxes and see old pictures that I had framed, look through my books and movies and see what I dumped out of my drawers. </div><div><br /></div><div>I just miss having my life and although I love my parents to death and I do enjoy being with them, I feel as though I have taken on even more responsibility by living here. I have more to deal with and I just don't know if I can handle it. I just need some space and time for me....</div>Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-64162219441769557662012-04-05T15:30:00.002-04:002012-04-05T15:35:35.382-04:00I'm ready for a vacation; some place far from here and not a worry in my mind...Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-7180684366765864772012-04-03T18:06:00.002-04:002012-04-03T18:22:22.779-04:00I can't believe that it's been 3 months since Hamid has passed. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. Some days I'm <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ok</span> with it all and I think about how blessed we all are to have had him here for this time. Other days, days like today, I can't seem to keep the tears from rolling down my face.<div>You will be forever missed!</div>Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-87925497858968084362012-03-31T01:53:00.003-04:002012-04-02T15:37:44.759-04:00Maybe it's meMaybe it's me. Maybe I do the same thing and it has nothing to do with the other person. I feel like I get to this point of almost caring and then I stop. I freak out and instead of talking about it or admitting to it I just close up and would rather walk away. Is that normal? <div><br /><div>I literally have a panic attack once I get here. As time goes on I can't help but think, maybe it's me. Maybe I'm the one that can't commit or put myself out there to get hurt. I don't even understand why this happens, I don't think about it, I certainly don't want it, but never the less I always get struck with this anxiety. </div></div>Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-7259340890651158952012-03-28T00:16:00.002-04:002012-03-28T00:33:07.457-04:00PricelessI have to say being an aunt is not what I thought it would be, it's 100 times better. My little niece is the cutest little baby and the joy she brings me is priceless. I got a last minute call from my brother asking if I could watch her yesterday and, of course, I can't say no. She is so happy and smiling all the time even when she's sick. <div><br /></div><div>As I was putting her down for her afternoon nap, she was crying so I rocked her for a bit and after a few minutes she hugged her arms around me and passed out on my shoulder. Honestly I didn't want to put her down, even after 15 minutes and with my arms beginning to hurt, I just could bring myself to let go...it felt so good to have my little niece sleeping in my arms! </div><div><br /></div><div>Who knew that I would be so in love with this little angle, every time she leaves I look forward to the next time I can see her again...maybe I'm borderline obsessed ;)</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-38222198155265269792012-03-20T02:05:00.003-04:002012-03-20T02:18:45.233-04:001391 here we come!Well it is <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">officially</span> the New Year for Iranians. It turned new year at 1:15am, the exact moment it turns spring. Our beautiful new year is based not on religion, but on nature. Every part and ritual is symbolic representing life, birth, health, family and prosperity. We set a special table called the Haft Seen, meaning 7 S's. There are 7 things on the table all starting with S in <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Farsi</span>. Garlic represents health and medicine, the coins represent prosperity, the grass represents growth, the eggs represent life as well as the fish and the list goes on. Most people put more than 7 items but the true meaning is 7 S's. <div><br /></div><div>People decorate the tables to their own taste and we all gather around it to count down to the new year! There are little traditions such as setting the table with your loved one and wishing good thoughts as you set it. The night of the new year we eat a traditional Persian cuisine. Also all those that are young <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">receive</span> gifts and money from their elders. We celebrate for 13 days and on the last day we all gather and go to the park to enjoy mother nature. It is about spring and everything blossoming, it is one of the few holidays that has nothing to do with religion but everything to do with life and loving the earth and all it provides. </div><div><br /></div><div>It is one of my favorite times of the year, always making me happy and appreciating my culture! I wish everyone a wonderful and healthy new year!</div>Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-19041949894068651712012-03-13T23:17:00.002-04:002012-03-13T23:30:46.035-04:00I've been a little slack lately with writing, somehow the past few weeks have just slipped away. I can't believe it's mid March! Things are going good, some days that we work until the evening and others when I don't even want to look at work but all in all I finally feel like we are getting somewhere, even if we hear No's. At least a no is an answer and we can look in another direction. <div><br /><div>I have been helping with Leukemia Society more as the school kick offs have started. I help with a program called pennies for patients, basically schools raise money for LLS. So for each school we hold assemblies to explain who we are and what we do and to kick off their fundraising. I held my first assembly yesterday alone and I have to say it was a bit nerve racking at first but after a few minutes I warmed up and was on a roll. I was surprised to be a little nervous, but I think it was because I was scared to tear up while talking about my brother. Lately when I tell his story I get so emotional, I think it's the years of emotions I hid...who knows. Anyway I have another assembly tomorrow, which I am excited about. At the end of the day it puts life into perspective for me and reminds me to be thankful and happy. </div><div><br /></div><div>I get to watch my lovely niece tomorrow! I can't believe how much I love her, she is like an addiction for me. It took me a while to figure out why she is so special, other than the fact that she is my niece. Finally the other day when I saw my brother with her, I realized what it was. There was a point in time that we weren't sure we would ever see this day, there was a time when we weren't sure if my brother would live and now to see him as a father, well it just makes it all the more special for us. I'm not quite sure if my brother will ever realize this, but we certainly do, every time he accomplishes something or has a big event we remember and it is so special for us as a family. </div></div>Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-79931420070270289562012-02-29T00:19:00.001-05:002012-02-29T00:20:57.953-05:00Ready for somthing new....Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-51520183005956849232012-02-20T00:19:00.004-05:002012-02-20T00:34:24.072-05:00A different endingI replay that day over and over in my mind. And even though I wasn't physically there I have imagined the way it all happens. And each time I replay it in my mind, I am hoping that the ending be different, just like a movie that you watch for the second time. You know what will happen, but you still think or hope that the ending will turn out to be different. <div><br /></div><div>I still replay it hoping, but knowing all to well what the reality is. I watch my dad struggle to find the answers, but he is left with nothing. And as much as I tell him that there are no answers, we just have to accept, I know he is still searching. He holds himself responsible and wants to know why he failed, but the reality is he can't change the course of fate, of destiny. God had a plan and regardless of how much my dad tried, what was gonna happen, was gonna happen. </div><div><br /></div><div>Sometimes we spend hours talking, going through every detail and all I can do is try to show him that there are some things that we as simple humans will never know. We can't understand, we are not suppose to. We just have to have trust in God to accept and move on. I see my dad get down and go to his office and I know right away that he is trying to figure it all out. Tonight was one of those nights, so I went downstairs and we sat for a hour or so and we went through it all again. And every time I am hoping he lets go a little more and starts to take the blame off himself. As much as I preach all these things to him and I do very much believe all that I am saying, I too still let my mind wonder to that day and replay everything and hope for a different ending. </div>Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-69176010736099941302012-02-19T01:43:00.002-05:002012-02-19T01:57:05.413-05:00missing you...Tonight everyone got together at one of Hamid's family members house, the past few weekends it seems that we all get together one night at someones house. It's good, it gets everyone out and lifts their spirits to be around each other. <div><br /></div><div>At some point in the evening we were all sitting around the table and Hamid's brother began telling us about his dream and how he saw his brother and they talked. It was a great dream to have and we all began talking about Hamid and they way he was and how he always knew what to do. As we were all talking and listening to stories I noticed my dad had his gaze towards the ground through most of the talks. </div><div><br /></div><div>On the way home I could tell he was in a mood and asked if he was ok, he said he was just down. Once we got home I went to see if he was ok and his eyes filled with tears and he said, "I miss his so much". I hugged my dad and told him that Hamid is with him, every step of the way, he is here. I guess sometimes even I forget how it must still be so hard for him. I mean, I know it's hard and we talk about it all the time, but my dad does so well on a daily basis that I forget how sad he is. This will creep up on him for weeks to come and I am sure as time goes on he will miss him more and more...this is just the beginning. </div><div><br /></div><div>With everything in me, I pray for everyone to be ok and that God help everybody through this. </div>Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-7188932043078809502012-02-13T00:17:00.003-05:002012-02-13T00:34:36.487-05:0040 Days<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ok</span>, I know I asked for winter but I didn't think I would actually get it. I wore my winter coat this weekend...<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">hurray</span>! Now if I can wear my gloves and a few scarves this week, then I'll be ready for warmer days!<div><br /></div><div>On a different note, today was Hamid's 40<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Th</span> day, which in our culture is practiced. Basically for the first 40 days after <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">someones</span> death most people wear black, they don't shave their beards and this is the morning period. Then on the 40<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Th</span> day everyone gathers to remember the life that we lost, but it is also the mark for everyone to begin moving forward. From this day everyone should be getting back to life, break the black clothes and try to look ahead even though it is tough. Some people do everything like not shaving their beards but really it is whatever they feel. What most people do practice is the gathering on the 40<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Th</span> day. </div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, today was Hamid's 40<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Th</span>, which I can't believe. Time has flown by and I don't even know where it has gone. I think one of the hardest things for people that have lost someone close, is that life goes on, people continue, but for those that the loss is deep, life doesn't go on so easily. I say this thinking about Hamid's kids and wife, his siblings and close friends. Yes they will continue but not so easy, not without wishing he was here every second. </div><div><br /></div><div>Originally we wanted to hold the event today at the park along the river but due to the very cold weather (which apparently I caused) we had everyone over at Hamid and Terri's house. It was nice, emotional at times, but nice. Everything that anyone has ever said about Hamid is always so positive, he was so happy and always joking. Even in his death he has given people so much happiness by remembering him and all his famous sayings. I hope and pray his family can begin to piece back their lives.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-73967319037348874282012-02-06T23:54:00.001-05:002012-02-06T23:55:50.232-05:00Isn't it suppose to be winter!!! I want snow and cold weather, I wanna wear my winter clothes and drink hot chocolate! What the heck is going on earth!Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8801979090759001192.post-16392619436976175552012-02-05T01:42:00.003-05:002012-02-05T01:53:08.783-05:00Really?!I'm sure I've come to sound so repetitive, but I can't seem to shake the shock of our loss. There are days that I just don't think, I turn my mind off and just do what is needed to help and get through the day. But there are other days that I just can't except what has happened. I replay every second of the past few weeks and I can't believe all that has happened. I can't believe he's dead, I think some times I actually believe he is coming back and that keeps me going. What makes is all worse is knowing that if I feel this way, what must his family be feeling. I think about his wife constantly and her loss. I think about his 14 year old son and how close they were, they did so much together on a daily bases. I think about his daughter's and how they have no father to turn to, to hug them, to comfort them. <div><br /></div><div>It feels like yesterday that I saw him. They were just here at our house for dinner...how can this be? What a loss...what a huge loss. </div>Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13510678241160287083noreply@blogger.com0