At last :)

This was written Sunday night upon my arrival:

Tonight I landed in Tehran and what a great feeling it is. I had a bit of anxiety flying in only because this is my first time coming here by myself and I was unsure how strict customs would be or what questions they would ask. Either way the flight is was great, easy, comfortable, the plane was nice and there was a lady next to me that reminded me of my aunt. Once I saw the lights of the city a rush of excitement came over me. I haven’t been back to Iran in six years, so much has change, my family has moved and grown. Some of my cousins are now married others no longer married, life has happened and I wasn’t here to see it.

It was interesting to see how much times have changed. I remember when I was young and we were flying into Iran they would announce that all the ladies now have to cover their hair because we have entered the country. Now they don’t even tell you, once you land and are coming off the plane all the ladies put their scarfs on and walk out. I of course was nervous and covered my entire head and didn’t let any hair show but you should see the girls. They are ready to defy the laws and show that they will do as they please. Some of the ladies just wore hats, others had scarfs only covering the back of their heads. I hope to see the day when we can walk the streets of Iran free of such things.

As I walked off the plane I could hear Persian music playing, people greeting each other in farsi and the smell of Iran...I knew I finally made it! I had a smile ear to ear...which now looking back I bet people were wondering why. I made it through customs with no problems, grabbed my bags and headed towards the exit. I saw my cousins on the other side of the glass waving happily and hurried to hug them. It was a wonderful arrival as my uncle, two cousins and one of their wife’s came to welcome me. It’s crazy that I haven’t had any communication with them over the last few years, I just hear from my dad all the news and send my hello’s. I feel as though I have to get to know everyone again.

The drive home was easy, I called my parents and let them know that I was safe and sound. Now here I am, at last I am here and I can’t believe it. I have been so excited to come to Iran and it’s funny I don’t understand why it is so hard to come more often. It is expensive and you need at least two weeks for a trip but how hard is that once every 2 or 3 years? This is some place that I should come and more often than not.

Anyway, I am so excited to wake up, have a nice breakfast, see my cousins and the city.

The Place I Love!

Lots of people have asked me which place am I most excited to visit; it is such a hard question to answer, each place has it’s own excitement. Scotland is a place I have dreamt of going and I knew I would love. Ireland has beauty that you can’t describe, London...well London is just a great city. I am excited about Iran and Sydney because I am seeing family after so long. So each place has something to look forward to and an excitement of its own.

However, when I really think about it deep down I can’t help but be thrilled to go to Iran. I just can’t wait to be there, to see family, to eat the food, to see the people and hear the music. I love going there, I love the culture, the history and I love that this is part of my life.

People say I am an old soul in a young heart. I appreciate the culture of Iran, the music that is so rich and it reminds me of my childhood, I love the pride that the people have regardless of their religious beliefs or the political views. I love the richness of the food, even the fruits taste different there, they have real taste. I love the way the cab driver tells you it’s no charge because it is courteous, even though there is a charge. It is the little things that make the people and the country so wonderful.

Even though I was not born there I feel more a part of Iran at times that I do America. I love traditions and I feel the need to carry them on. I love how much the culture has made my life different. My parents raised us with a very strong sense of culture and they made sure we understood where we come from and who we are. From the age of one I have been traveling to Iran and have spent summers there with my family. I never realized the impact that these times had, but now I see. Some of my fondest memories take place in Iran and I hope that my family and children to will have this as well.

C'est la vie

Today I am leaving Paris and flying to Iran. This trip was suppose to be with my mom but I think I can manage flying into Iran without her. If anything this is a good experience for me to go by myself. There isn’t any real threat or problem going to Iran but I just feel better having someone there with me. I get nervous if they begin asking me questions, but I am assured that if I can fly to Paris and get a train to my hotel not speaking any French, then Iran is a breeze.

I know this sounds terrible but I am quite happy to be leaving Paris. After a while the city wore on me and as beautiful as it is there are many things that I can’t stand . Paris is by far one of the dirtiest places I have ever been and I have been to a lot of places. The people have no regard to take care of the city, keep in clean and take pride in it. They pollute everywhere, the metro stations are a disaster and the worst part is the toilets. The bathrooms are so gross that you walk in a forget you need to go. People don’t wash their hands after using the restrooms, I have seen more people peeing in the streets than I ever want to and although I have meet lots of nice people, the ones that are not nice are extremely rude. To top it all off the food in this city is a disaster. I was willing to spend about 20-30 euros for a nice dinner, that should get you decent food and it was the biggest waste of money. The food is so bad that I was tiered of eating and would only have one or two meals at the most. Sometimes that one meal was just a combo meal from McDonnalds. I am sure there are places that you can go and spend a good chunk of money and get a great meal but for the average person good luck. To be honest 20-30 Euros is not a cheap dinner and I would expect a nice meal. I can’t wait to get some good old Persian food!

Don’t get me wrong, it is a great place to visit for a few days but anything more is not for me. I was ready to leave days ago and was super happy this morning when I got on the bus. So bye bye Paris and hello Iran.

Love

It’s interesting being in the city of love when your not in love. I wonder how the city would look to me if I came with a lover? I walk around and see couples everywhere, some so in love, others that need to be reminded they are in love. One my first days here I was walking back from the Eiffel Tower and walked through a cute little park. There was a young couple walking though; at first glance I looked at them and thought I wish I had someone here with me, someone I loved. The couple looked fine but after a few minutes I noticed they were arguing and not even wanting to look at one another. I instantly remembered that feeling when you are in a relationship and get upset. At the time you are so angry and heated. You get upset like something major has happened and I am sure that whatever the argument is about, it isn’t really that bad.

It’s so different to see things now, as I have been single for two years since my last relationship. Now things aren’t so serious for me, I looked at the young couple and thought it isn’t that big of a deal, enjoy being in pairs after all life is to short to make such a big fuss. Even if you are upset just talk about it and get over it. The fact is that whatever the argument, there is always a solution and if you are willing to talk about it, then talk about it and move on.

I remember my boyfriend in college always told me that one of the worst qualities I had was that I never let go of things. We used to get in arguments and like a fool I would bring things up from the month before. I never changed when we were together but it was one of the greatest criticisms I got, because after we broke up I realized that more than anyone I was just hurting myself by holding things in. It is a hard characteristic to change, but once you see that letting go is so easy, you hate hanging on. Now when I get heated or upset I deal with whatever it is and once it is over I can go back to being happy and not letting it ruin the rest of my day.

I wonder what the couple in the park was arguing about, I wonder if they will ever realize how lucky they are to have someone? I realize now more than ever how difficult it is to meet someone that you love and that loves you back. Someone that you think or are willing to try to spend the rest of your life with. Sure it’s easy to meet people but nearly impossible to meet someone you want to spend your life with.

At times, like every “single” person I get disappointed and think it will never happen and maybe it never will. I have come to except that and have learned to be happy either way. My mom is such a character, she always tells me so what if you don’t meet anyone then you can live your life with no trouble and do whatever you want. As much as she loves my dad she knows how hard a marriage can be and speaks about it’s difficulties. However, she forgets that in times of great happiness or great sadness the one thing you want is the person you love; this is the greatest comfort.

I always say that it isn’t marriage that I am looking for, I am not the girl that dreams of her huge wedding and has it all planned. To be honest I don’t even know what colors I would pick or if I would have a wedding. It isn’t kids that I am looking for, even though I do want them one day. What I am looking for is just the person that I can share my heart with, the person I can talk to and spend time with. I feel as though I have so much I want to share and can’t wait to share it with someone special. Someone I can go for a run with or travel different places. Someone that enjoys life and appreciates every bit of it. Someone that wants to share their life with me!

I wonder if what I want is to much?

Paris Pics

The Louvre

My first day in Paris

Notre-Dame

This guy was amazing

Sacre-Coeur

The Louvre, Notre-Dame and more!

My week in Paris has been nice. Once I found out that my mom is ok and I decided very hard to make the best out of my stay here, after all I am in Paris. I have to say that 10 days in Paris is by far enough, if I were to redo my visit I think I would max out at 5 to 6 days and go somewhere else. Now I could live here for a period of about year or so but a quick visit should be quick.

The city is small so all that you want to see is right here. I have the metro system down and can get anywhere around the city, which helps after walking all day and just wanting to get home. I usually start my day by saying I will walk, because it’s good exercise and well I get to see the city even if it is the same sights, they are beautiful. By the end of the day I am usually ready to just catch the metro and get home.

Today I did walk down a few different streets and got to see all new things which I am glad I did. One thing that having a lot of time here has done, is that I have gotten a bit lazy with going to different sights, I keep thinking that I can see it tomorrow and today I can just relax and go to a cafe. So now that I have only two days left I realize there are still a few places to go. I will, however, leave somethings for next time and that next time will be with my mom. I want to have somethings that I haven’t seen so it’s exciting for both of us and I know this way I am promising to come back to Paris.

Yesterday I decided I needed some retail therapy so I went shopping and did very well. Since I have been gone I have done amazing, I have not bought myself anything, except a hat that I needed for Scotland. I made a promise to myself that this trip is not for shopping but to enjoy the places I go. I would rather spend money on an amazing meal in Paris rather than a pair of shoes (this is rare and only for this trip). It’s just after all the bad news I needed a pick me up and I also never got anything for my birthday, so I figure I was justified. I went to a local store and found two cute and fairly inexpensive pieces and then I remembered exactly what I wanted. I saw a leather jacket in Munich that I really wanted to buy but didn’t have room in my luggage so I left it, but didn’t forget it. I was lucky enough to have my brother and Nina take some things back for me when they left the other day so I realized I have a few kilos to spare. I found the closest Mango to me and tracked down my jacket!

It’s a perfect fit and exactly what I wanted. I really love it and was excited to come home and show my mom what I got on skype. Even though she couldn’t make it here I wanted to share all that I could with her. Of course she loved it and was happy for me. I told her I couldn’t wait to show her in person. Her health is good and she is in recovery after her surgery. She seems to be doing very well and yesterday was walking a bit. Today I spoke with her and she said that she is doing good and the pain is bad, but tolerable. Everyday she looks better and better.

It’s funny that I have visited many churches through this trip and previous trips and although I have prayed for those that are sick or need help I have never pray so much. Every church here has a candle light for my mom and all those in our lives that are sick. In a time of uncertainty this gives people hope and a sense of doing something, however little it may be. I have always lit a candle and made a prayer for someone at that particular time that I knew needed a prayer. I do this now not just to pray, but for all those that prayed for my brother around the world years ago. Even though we didn’t see them, we felt it. Knowing that people are thinking about you is what gives you strength and the will to carry on.

It was nice that my brother and Nina were here for the first part of the week especially once I got the bad news. I was happy to have two more minds here to help me figure out anything if I needed it, plus it was just nice to see family and have a good time together. We had a nice time and saw the Louvre and a few other sights, we were relaxed and took our time instead of trying to fit too much in and getting tiered. I was sad to see them go, their stay here was very short and we were just starting to have fun ;)

I have to say one of my favorite places so far has been Sacre-Coeur and the walk there. This church sits at the highest point in Paris and once you have reached the top, you turn around and see the entire city. It is a beautiful sight and the church itself is amazing. As you walk up there are people the entire way trying to sell you anything they can; people are singing, dancing and even performing tricks with soccer balls. All this adds to the fun and you can’t help but stop along the way and look around. The area around the church is like it’s own little town, which it used to be. All the artists are from here and when you reach the square you see painters everywhere being inspired and painting. Who knows who these painters are, they could be the relatives of artists we know or they could one day have their paintings hanging in one of Paris’s fine museums.

On my way back home I stopped and saw Moulin Rouge, I have to say that was a huge disappointment. It is on a crappy street that is like the red light district and the building is so much smaller than what I had in my mind. Either way I got to see it and kept on moving.

Today I went to Musse D’Orsay, it was lovely and I spent a few hours there. The building is an old train station that was going to be knocked down, but then it was decided to make it into a museum since it had height they could hang large paintings there. When you walk in and look at the grand station you immediately fall in love. After the museum I walked around a bit and right as I was passing Norte-Dame it started snowing and very heavy. This was enough to make me come home and snuggle up!

Taking all that comes my way

It’s funny how fast things can change and change the way you feel about something. I feel as though for some reason, I have earned the right to have life take it easy on me. I know that doesn’t make any sense but its just that I have put in my time and I just want to take it easy. I know that this is what everyone wants and it is not something that will ever be granted but this is the way I feel and I can’t change that.

I was expecting my mom to arrive tomorrow morning, which by my tone you can probably guess that she isn’t coming. Not by her choice but just as luck would have it she had a medical emergency and could not fly. Of course my first concern is her health and well being and after that is the fact I feel so sad that she can’t make it to Paris. I was super excited to share this with her and couldn’t wait to show her everything. And I know that she was super excited to be here and was ready to see Paris.

Once I found out that she can’t make it, I started making is sound like Paris is not all that great and to be honest when you are not in the mood to be here it really does suck. I have to always remember that things happen for a reason and that something good will come out of this all. I know life throws curve balls at you and you just have to be ready and go with whatever it is, but I just feel like I have had a lot of curve balls and I want things to go right. I never take life for granted and I am always thankful for everything yet I am reminded through life’s events again and again that shit happens.

People tell me, God only gives you what you can handle, so I guess he thinks that I can handle a lot. Either way the important thing is that my mother is ok and if I need to be there I am only a plane ride away. If all goes well, my mom will still be able to meet me in Iran but just a few days after I arrive. All I can do now is pray that she is ok and she can come. I was so looking forward to seeing her and giving her the biggest hug, it’s like a recharge and I need it.

It’s funny because ever since I have gotten to Paris I was just not that happy and I couldn’t figure out why. I know that I am alone but I don’t mind that so much and it was only for a few days. There was something else and even when I was at a restrauant my second night here; the owner asked me why I was sad, I had no answer for him. I mean who knows if I had a sense of something going on or if I was just sad because of some other reason. Either way it all came together on Monday when my parents called with the bad news. The good news is that Paris is not going anywhere and my mom and I can always come back.

So now I have another 4 days here, which I should still be thankful for and I am going to try VERY hard to make the best of it!