Wait a sec...it's almost December!!!

It's awful that I have written in over 2 months!!! What is even worse is that I haven't realized that 2 months has passed. I feel as though this year has gone by exceptionally quick, before I know it another week has passed.  I didn't even realize the week of my birthday that it was my birthday until 3 days before it and even then I thought surely this can't be right!

To say we are busy is an understatement, being that my father and I are doing pretty much everything these days, we can't seem to catch up.  Some days I start with updating our website and different accounts and I end it creating new blends of products in our lab.  I can say that I have learned more the past few months than I ever imagined.  I have been involved with the oil refining process and going to UGA to work with the professors. I have learned all the accounting and filing of sales tax, etc. I worked  side by side with my father when the grapes come in and we have to process everything...yes it has been quite a journey.

It's crazy to experience all this, especially in a time that the economy is in such turmoil that no one knows what is next. People ask me all the time, how I can do this and keep going. They ask what keeps me motivated to go on.  To be honest there are days that I want to throw in the towel and I question whether it will all work.  But the minute I think about quiting I just know that it's not my time to quit.  I know that everything will work out and I am determined to see this company take off.  2 years ago I woke up knowing that this is what I am purpose to be doing and I feel it more now than ever. Yes I have days that I am in tears because I wonder when we are going to catch a break, but at the end of the day those tears make me want it more.   I hope one day I can look back and know that all this hard work paid off.

The days I will never forget.

These are the days I will never forget.  September 21, 2012, working with my dad for 8 hours outside. Cleaning, seeving and separating grape seeds from the skins.  For the first time in my life I am beyond dedicated to this.  I am willing to work like a dog, to put in my hard work, to blister from cleaning, to be in pain from lifting and to really be tiered from all the hard work.

Even a few months ago I was working hard, but I was balancing my life, I was working but when it was time to quit I was ready to relax.  Now it's as though a light has been turned on, I want it and I want it so bad that I am wanting to feel the pain, feel the heat and really dedicate myself to this.  The past 6 weeks have been crazy, we have been everywhere from North Carolina to Alabama. We have driven to different wineries in the same day and come home at the end of the night ready to pass out.  We have gone to north Georgie in an hours notice to pick up tons of pomace and have come home and unload it...just the two of us, me and my father.

My father has always worked hard and never asked me to get my hands dirty.  However, now I am ready to roll up my sleeves and work along side him.  I want to feel it so when the time comes and this takes off I know what it took.  I want to always remember these days of hard work and if ever my business is successful I want to know what it takes to get it there.  I hope I am always willing to put on my boots and dirty clothes and get my hands dirty no matter how successful I am, because only then will I appreciate where I have come from and how hard people really do work.

More than anything I hope and strive to one day be as good of parents as my mother and father.   One of my greatest fears is that I will not live up to to the people and parents they are.  My mom and dad are beyond amazing and every time I think I realize it, they do more and show me what it means to love and to care.

My father has always told me "I don't love my children, I am in love with my children".  As we worked together tonight and talked, he mentioned that all he has and wants is that one day when I am 45 years old to look back and be able to say that I am who I am and I am where I am because of what you taught me and because of the love you showed me.  They say parents play a small role in children's lives because it comes down to your genes and who you are, but I beg to differ. I think my parents are every reason that I am where I am and that I am who I am.

These are the days that I will NEVER forget. The days that I look into my father brown/green eyes and talk to the point of tears, talk about life, and who we are.  We talk about the obstacles and what lies ahead. These are the days that I will always remember my father telling me "sweetheart wealth is not about money, but about family and love".  I will always remember and cherish these days.  Whether Array Organics becomes something or not I have already made. I have had the pleasure of working with my father and gaining his knowledge.  These truly are the best days of my life!

Busy or lazy?

I don't know if I'm just too busy these days or plain old lazy...maybe a bit of both.  Either way it has been far too long since I have sat down to write. As usual there is so much to say as I never have a dull moment in my life.

Things have been busy, hectic, draining, fun and exciting all in one.  I have had good news and bad but all in all I know that if I just continue and work hard for the next few months things will turn around.  I have been traveling a lot lately, some for work and some for pleasure.  I went to Canada with my family and got to spend an amazing week with my cousins and my niece!  It was such a joy to wake up to her everyday for one week!  She is an absolute joy and growing so quickly. I can't believe her first birthday is next week!  It feels like yesterday that I was speeding to the hospital to meet her.

After Canada I headed out to Chicago, it was my first time there.  I have to say Chicago is a pretty cool city. I never imagined it to be such a fun city.  I loved the feel of the city and that you get the city life (like NYC) but just more calm and relaxed.  Some parts of my trip were great and others disappointing...some of you know why.  However, I have learned to to stay strong and move on.  At this point in my life I have come to far to let people hurt me or get me down.

Anyway, this past weekend I was at the beach with the girls for my Kery's bachelorette weekend.  It was very nice and relaxing. I realized once I was there that I had not been to the beach in a year...which is a long time for me.  We had a great weekend and more importantly Kery had fun.  Her wedding will be here before we know it!

In between all these trips I have been making day trips with my dad to all the vineyards we are working with to collect pomice.  We have been to Alabama a few times, North GA and this week we will be in NC!  Lots of driving, PR and hard work loading the grapes.  My poor father is really working is butt off once we get the pomice. He is drying and processing everything and man do I feel for him.  At the end of everyday we remember our goal and keep working.

I am excited to see what the next few months hold for us and pray that all of our hard work pays off!

7 months today. Although time is passing so quickly there isn't a day that we don't remember and think of you.  Always in our thoughts and missing you!

I'm craving a fruity drink and the beach....oh how I wish it could come true!

Busy But Thankful

Well...ok I know it's been a while AGAIN!  I have to get back into my routine of writing, I miss it and as I always say, sometimes my best friend is a a piece of paper and a pen (in this case it is my mac book but you get the point). 

Life has been busy, we are all work and just as focused as ever.  Some things are a waiting game and I can't control the vendors or people we work with so things don't move as fast as I would like.  However, if there is one thing that I have learn this past year it's to be patient.  Other than work everything is good, my family is healthy and we are blessed so I can't complain.  My niece is the greatest joy in my life, just when I thought I couldn't love her more I fall in love with her even more!  She is absolutely precious and brings us all so much happiness.  I am so thankful that we all live close together and are able to spend as much time as we want with one another.   I know that was something that we never had growing up and I love the fact that as an aunt I am close by.

I find that I am moving on from all that has happened the past few months. I feel as though the cloud is lifting.  As they say, time heals everything.  I see my father doing better and he is absorbed in his work. I can see how badly he wants things to work and he is doing everything in his power to make sure it does.  I know that Hamid is the source of his determination.  

It's funny, when you are experiencing a dramatic event in your life, you think that it's the worst for you and no one understands what you are going through.  And not that I didn't know this but it's becoming more evident the older I get, that everyone is going through something.  Every person I talk to has a story, something tragic or difficult they are going through.  I don't know if its the current times that things are bad for people, but everyone has a story and I don't feel so alone with all that I have been through.  In fact, I feel thankful that I am still so lucky!

To Close to Give Up

I haven't written in so long and to be honest I have no clue why.  There were days when I sat down to write and I ended up staring at the computer screen.  I guess sometimes there is so much to say that I don't say anything at all.

Life has been busy to say the least, but I feel good about all that is going on.  I feel as though things will change soon and I can slowly see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I have a quote that comes to mind every time I get down or discouraged because I see it to be true, basically it states that the greatest failure is the give up only to be so close.  Every time I am close to throwing my hands up I remember that quote and I think...I have come to far and failure is not an option.  Funny, Hamid used to tell my dad, "failure is not an option for us".

I just really need for something to happen. I need to be encouraged again. I need a spark.