Monday, July 2, 2012

Busy But Thankful

Well...ok I know it's been a while AGAIN!  I have to get back into my routine of writing, I miss it and as I always say, sometimes my best friend is a a piece of paper and a pen (in this case it is my mac book but you get the point). 

Life has been busy, we are all work and just as focused as ever.  Some things are a waiting game and I can't control the vendors or people we work with so things don't move as fast as I would like.  However, if there is one thing that I have learn this past year it's to be patient.  Other than work everything is good, my family is healthy and we are blessed so I can't complain.  My niece is the greatest joy in my life, just when I thought I couldn't love her more I fall in love with her even more!  She is absolutely precious and brings us all so much happiness.  I am so thankful that we all live close together and are able to spend as much time as we want with one another.   I know that was something that we never had growing up and I love the fact that as an aunt I am close by.

I find that I am moving on from all that has happened the past few months. I feel as though the cloud is lifting.  As they say, time heals everything.  I see my father doing better and he is absorbed in his work. I can see how badly he wants things to work and he is doing everything in his power to make sure it does.  I know that Hamid is the source of his determination.  

It's funny, when you are experiencing a dramatic event in your life, you think that it's the worst for you and no one understands what you are going through.  And not that I didn't know this but it's becoming more evident the older I get, that everyone is going through something.  Every person I talk to has a story, something tragic or difficult they are going through.  I don't know if its the current times that things are bad for people, but everyone has a story and I don't feel so alone with all that I have been through.  In fact, I feel thankful that I am still so lucky!

Monday, May 28, 2012

To Close to Give Up

I haven't written in so long and to be honest I have no clue why.  There were days when I sat down to write and I ended up staring at the computer screen.  I guess sometimes there is so much to say that I don't say anything at all.

Life has been busy to say the least, but I feel good about all that is going on.  I feel as though things will change soon and I can slowly see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I have a quote that comes to mind every time I get down or discouraged because I see it to be true, basically it states that the greatest failure is the give up only to be so close.  Every time I am close to throwing my hands up I remember that quote and I think...I have come to far and failure is not an option.  Funny, Hamid used to tell my dad, "failure is not an option for us".

I just really need for something to happen. I need to be encouraged again. I need a spark.

Monday, May 14, 2012

I'm tiered....

Thursday, May 3, 2012

When?

Every so often everything catches up to me and I can't help but go into thought.  I think constantly about my business, if it will ever become something more than an idea.  I dream about all it can become and know that it has what it takes, but just needs the right push.  I know that I have come such a long way and it's only been a year, but it is very difficult to stay motivated when all you do is work and see little in outcomes.

I think about love and why at the age of 30 I still haven't found the person I want to spend my life with. I wonder if I ever will.  I look forward to the day that I find someone I can go for a run with and talk to about any and everything.  For a long time, as much as I said I was ready, I am not quite sure I was.  I have to admit, I have had a great time being single, doing what I like, traveling, working as much as I want and not having to worry about what I am doing.  However, I am slowly beginning to want more. I see my niece and she makes me want more, she makes me want a family. I just can't help but wonder...will I ever find it?

Monday, April 23, 2012

Fingers crossed....so far so good!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

What I need...ASAP!

Ok, living at home, honestly, hasn't been so bad. However, I think now is the time to MOVE OUT! It's hard being back home, especially since I moved out when I was 15. I like to think I have done really well and been very patient. I am just at the end of my patience and without getting aggravated I would like to be on my way, have my own space and do things the way I like.

I don't even remember my things...I miss my stuff, my dishes and decorations. I packed my life in 1.5 weeks and threw things in boxes thinking I would get them out soon. Well that was before I traveled for 6 months and so not only did I travel, but I have been home for over a year! I wanna open my boxes and see old pictures that I had framed, look through my books and movies and see what I dumped out of my drawers.

I just miss having my life and although I love my parents to death and I do enjoy being with them, I feel as though I have taken on even more responsibility by living here. I have more to deal with and I just don't know if I can handle it. I just need some space and time for me....

Thursday, April 5, 2012

I'm ready for a vacation; some place far from here and not a worry in my mind...