The Trials of Love

About a week ago my cousin called me with sad news that her and her boyfriend broke-up. It was hard to hear only cause we all had high hopes and were excited about what the future held. We skyped for hours, cried, laughed and talked. I kept telling her life isn't worth being so sad and things could be worse, but the fact is when it comes to matters of the heart there is nothing that can make one feel better.

I have always said that there is no worse feeling than a broken heart. It truly is the worse pain. When you lose someone to death you have to except what has happened and move forward but when you lose love you know that the other person is still there. I wrote once that it's funny the one person you want comfort from is the one that broke your heart.

There is so much to say yet I can't seem to get the right words to express everything. As I listened to my cousin cry I couldn't help but be reminded of a time when I felt that pain. That want of something to be different or to go back in time, the pain of feeling like you weren't enough and wondering why. I promised myself to avoid that at all costs in the future after my last relationship, and well its almost been three years and for the most part I have avoided it.

You get to a point where you feel like, how much more do I have to deal with? Why again? Last year I cried to my mom after another bump in the road and told her, " it's not like I'm looking, I was fine. I was living my life and I was happy. Why then did this person have to come into my life and hurt me again. How much more disappointment can I handle." It had nothing to do with the guy but everything to do with another disappointment and hurt.

But is it realistic for me to avoid this? The thing is that I am terrified to get in another relationship because I don't want to go through the heartache. But maybe my fear is what is hurting me now. I don't want to get hurt and the minute I feel the pain of caring I want to run away. When will I know that I won't get hurt? It's so funny because as parents they are required to tell you that someday you will meet the right guy and if a relationship didn't work out it's because there is someone else out there for you. I don't believe that, I don't know if it's lost hope or being realistic but I don't think there is just one person and that it's a matter of finding them.

I know exactly how my cousin feels right now. She hurts and wants to be wanted, every girl wants to be wanted. We want someone to fight for us, make us feel like we are worth it and that no matter what it takes they will try. It's hard to find someone that's willing to fight for you, someone that's willing to show you and prove that their feelings are true. Feeling it and showing it are worlds apart. So many people don't show their love...what a shame.

I hope my cousins finds an amazing person that is willing to do whatever it takes....why is it so hard for such an amazing girl to meet an amazing guy?