Last week was an amazing week for me because I got to witness one of my best friends weddings and be part of it! I knew I would be excited but I never expected to feel so much happiness and joy for her and her new hubby!
What more can one ask for...one week at the beach in a beautiful house with friends and family! I definetly think there were at times a bit too much alocohol but that only added to the crazy dance off’s and mornings of us trying to figure out the night before.
It was also an bit of an eye opener for myself. My history of weddings has not been so great...you see I don’t really like weddings. Maybe it’s not fair to say that I don’t like them, but rather I don’t think they like me, because every wedding I go to I seem to be struck with anxiety. This wedding took much of the same path up until the night before the wedding. I don’t know why or what happens but I get so anxious and nervous. The entire night before the wedding I was up and thinking and I have no clue why. What was different about this wedding was the day of. I woke up calm, relaxed and ready. I was trying to figure out what I did different or if I was just getting used to weddings, after all this is the 4th one I have been in! I’m not sure, maybe it was all the love that was present and it calmed me or maybe it’s because I was so happy or maybe because I have finally excepted where I am in my life. Maybe before I was just hoping it would be me and now for the first time I am completely okay with where I am in my life and what I am doing so I allowed myself to be happy for someone else.
It’s crazy, I know, but it makes sense. I always thought that I would be the one getting married and I couldn’t get over the fact that I wasn’t. Yes it has taken some time for me to get here and be happy again, but I am very happy and I have let go of whatever was “suppose to happen” and I am letting life take its course.
Now the only way to test my theory is to go to another wedding...have no fear I am in another one on May 8, 2011! I’ll let you know how that goes. :)
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