Love

It’s interesting being in the city of love when your not in love. I wonder how the city would look to me if I came with a lover? I walk around and see couples everywhere, some so in love, others that need to be reminded they are in love. One my first days here I was walking back from the Eiffel Tower and walked through a cute little park. There was a young couple walking though; at first glance I looked at them and thought I wish I had someone here with me, someone I loved. The couple looked fine but after a few minutes I noticed they were arguing and not even wanting to look at one another. I instantly remembered that feeling when you are in a relationship and get upset. At the time you are so angry and heated. You get upset like something major has happened and I am sure that whatever the argument is about, it isn’t really that bad.

It’s so different to see things now, as I have been single for two years since my last relationship. Now things aren’t so serious for me, I looked at the young couple and thought it isn’t that big of a deal, enjoy being in pairs after all life is to short to make such a big fuss. Even if you are upset just talk about it and get over it. The fact is that whatever the argument, there is always a solution and if you are willing to talk about it, then talk about it and move on.

I remember my boyfriend in college always told me that one of the worst qualities I had was that I never let go of things. We used to get in arguments and like a fool I would bring things up from the month before. I never changed when we were together but it was one of the greatest criticisms I got, because after we broke up I realized that more than anyone I was just hurting myself by holding things in. It is a hard characteristic to change, but once you see that letting go is so easy, you hate hanging on. Now when I get heated or upset I deal with whatever it is and once it is over I can go back to being happy and not letting it ruin the rest of my day.

I wonder what the couple in the park was arguing about, I wonder if they will ever realize how lucky they are to have someone? I realize now more than ever how difficult it is to meet someone that you love and that loves you back. Someone that you think or are willing to try to spend the rest of your life with. Sure it’s easy to meet people but nearly impossible to meet someone you want to spend your life with.

At times, like every “single” person I get disappointed and think it will never happen and maybe it never will. I have come to except that and have learned to be happy either way. My mom is such a character, she always tells me so what if you don’t meet anyone then you can live your life with no trouble and do whatever you want. As much as she loves my dad she knows how hard a marriage can be and speaks about it’s difficulties. However, she forgets that in times of great happiness or great sadness the one thing you want is the person you love; this is the greatest comfort.

I always say that it isn’t marriage that I am looking for, I am not the girl that dreams of her huge wedding and has it all planned. To be honest I don’t even know what colors I would pick or if I would have a wedding. It isn’t kids that I am looking for, even though I do want them one day. What I am looking for is just the person that I can share my heart with, the person I can talk to and spend time with. I feel as though I have so much I want to share and can’t wait to share it with someone special. Someone I can go for a run with or travel different places. Someone that enjoys life and appreciates every bit of it. Someone that wants to share their life with me!

I wonder if what I want is to much?