It’s funny how fast things can change and change the way you feel about something. I feel as though for some reason, I have earned the right to have life take it easy on me. I know that doesn’t make any sense but its just that I have put in my time and I just want to take it easy. I know that this is what everyone wants and it is not something that will ever be granted but this is the way I feel and I can’t change that.
I was expecting my mom to arrive tomorrow morning, which by my tone you can probably guess that she isn’t coming. Not by her choice but just as luck would have it she had a medical emergency and could not fly. Of course my first concern is her health and well being and after that is the fact I feel so sad that she can’t make it to Paris. I was super excited to share this with her and couldn’t wait to show her everything. And I know that she was super excited to be here and was ready to see Paris.
Once I found out that she can’t make it, I started making is sound like Paris is not all that great and to be honest when you are not in the mood to be here it really does suck. I have to always remember that things happen for a reason and that something good will come out of this all. I know life throws curve balls at you and you just have to be ready and go with whatever it is, but I just feel like I have had a lot of curve balls and I want things to go right. I never take life for granted and I am always thankful for everything yet I am reminded through life’s events again and again that shit happens.
People tell me, God only gives you what you can handle, so I guess he thinks that I can handle a lot. Either way the important thing is that my mother is ok and if I need to be there I am only a plane ride away. If all goes well, my mom will still be able to meet me in Iran but just a few days after I arrive. All I can do now is pray that she is ok and she can come. I was so looking forward to seeing her and giving her the biggest hug, it’s like a recharge and I need it.
It’s funny because ever since I have gotten to Paris I was just not that happy and I couldn’t figure out why. I know that I am alone but I don’t mind that so much and it was only for a few days. There was something else and even when I was at a restrauant my second night here; the owner asked me why I was sad, I had no answer for him. I mean who knows if I had a sense of something going on or if I was just sad because of some other reason. Either way it all came together on Monday when my parents called with the bad news. The good news is that Paris is not going anywhere and my mom and I can always come back.
So now I have another 4 days here, which I should still be thankful for and I am going to try VERY hard to make the best of it!
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